First date apologies

I'm stunned, I tell you... stunned. I received an instant message from Irish, the very interesting author who I had an e-crush on several months back. Our first conversation lasted about five hours or so, and our texts was flirtatious and left me giddy.

And then we met and I was less than impressed. His photos were cuter, but that's something I can generally ignore if the personality is on. And his,most definitely, was NOT on... he was crazy late, then mild-to-moderately argumentative the entire time. We met at Chuy's for dinner and drinks... he then proceeded to order water and a small appetizer, so I felt the fool actually getting a real meal and a drink. The height of stupidity came when we argued about Anthony Bourdain vs. Andrew Zimmern; I was making the point that there seemed a proliferation of such shows, and I thought the latter was a cheap knock-off. He seriously argued to the death that I didn't know what I was talking about... that they did TOTALLY different things.

Oh, wait. And he also felt compelled to disagree with my stance on Oprah. And you knows thems fightin' words.

Anyway, we met about two and a half months ago (according to him), after a couple of weeks of talking and being flirty and all the what not. And then I was totally confused by his being a bit douchey, so I didn't call him back and that was that. Until tonight. Below is a transcript of our IM (inked_alice being my online moniker for dating endeavors). I'm a bit... perplexed. He seems genuine, but since the implosion of 2007, I absolutely do not trust my instincts.

Plus, I'm still on the fence about him having jowels.


[9:56:55 pm]thecolin1000: hey- it's Colin who met you a while back at Chuy's and never did apologise for being a bit of an ass at dinner

[9:56:55 pm]thecolin1000: so just saw that you were on and wanted you to know that I am sorry for not being better company that time- and that it was lovely to meet you

[9:56:56 pm]Inked_Alice: I remember you, Colin. Hi there.

[9:57:04 pm]thecolin1000:hi

[9:57:18 pm]thecolin1000: I felt bad about that, as I really did like talking with you-

[9:57:42 pm]Inked_Alice: I appreciate that, even if it's surprising.

[9:57:44 pm]thecolin1000: I was just in a bleh mood and didn't really listen to anything you said, AFTER making you wait as well

[9:58:21 pm]thecolin1000:well, you deserved better than a guy to just argue with you and not really listen or enjoy your company

[9:59:16 pm]Inked_Alice:I thank you for that.

[9:59:26 pm]thecolin1000:Fully welcome

blah, blah, blah, we make small talk about what we've been up to. Then,

[10:03:50 pm]thecolin1000: I miss talking with you- felt like I had a chance getting to know you and then for some unknown reason, just acted like a jackass when we met

[10:04:03 pm]thecolin1000: and you were every bit as good looking as your pics, btw

[10:05:17 pm]Inked_Alice: heh, thank you. this is all a little out of the blue. I'm not quite sure how to respond, in all honesty.

[10:05:29 pm]thecolin1000: I can understand that-

[10:05:38 pm]thecolin1000: just wanted to let you know when I saw you on

[10:06:11 pm]thecolin1000: I hope all is going well for you except for the possible need to buy a new vehicle which is always fun

[10:06:30 pm]Inked_Alice: may I ask what will likely seem a weird question?

[10:06:36 pm]thecolin1000: certainly

[10:07:59 pm]Inked_Alice:was this an after-the-fact revelation... or did you know at the time that you weren't being... hmm,particularly easy to talk to?

[10:08:22 pm]thecolin1000:No

[10:08:58 pm]thecolin1000: I was tired, annoyed, had other things on my mind at the time and just shouldn't have gone out to meet anyone let alone someone who I actually like and wanted to get to know better

[10:09:22 pm]thecolin1000: I felt bad about it afterwards but was almost too embarrassed to contact you and say so

[10:09:45 pm]thecolin1000: I just felt, well, if I were her I wouldn't want to hear from me again after that

[10:09:59 pm]thecolin1000: and an explanation might just come across as a pathetic cover-up

[10:10:46 pm]thecolin1000:so yes I knew, and was just in one of those ugh moods where I was not going to play nice with anyone else- a bit of a little kid moment- not my usual self, I should point out

We're still talking now... though I don't, obviously, feel those butterflies like I did. And I don't know that I will again. Nevertheless, I do appreciate and recognize his realization and feel some credit is due, as men don't tend to acknowledge when they've been jackasses... especially in situations like this. Our paths haven't crossed, and wouldn't have; he could've gone the rest of his life without apologizing and it would have been fine.

So here I sit, surprised and a bit perplexed.